Tips for Balancing Finances and Marriage

One of the main causes of contention in marriage is money. For most people, this information is not new. However, it is possible to step back and achieve financial harmony with your partner.

1.Understand that money is not the only issue. Financial fracases usually involve more complex and deeper issues than money. Security, control, and power are all underlying themes when it comes to fights over finances. When money is tight, security is a very real issue, and can lead to irritations and complaints. Control and power are closely related. Ideas of who should make the decisions, or one partner constantly making purchases without consulting with the other lead to struggles over control and turn money into the currency of familial power.

2.Recognize your partner's share in the decision-making process. You need to realize that your partner has a say in where the money goes. Money decisions should not be based on who makes the most, or who the main wage earner is. Financial decisions affect the entire family. Additionally, it is important to realize that if one partner stays home, she or he is contributing to the overall well being of the household. Just because society does not recognize a contribution because it does not have a salary attached to it does not mean that it is invalid, or that the person caring for home and children has no say in how the money should be spent.

3.Talk about financial issues. Just as any other aspect of a relationship requires communication, money matters need talking about. It is important to air your fears and hopes, as well as articulate your strengths and weaknesses with money. You should also listen to your partner and try to understand where he or she is coming from. Talk about the underlying issues that increase your financial struggles, and try to figure out, together, how to overcome these struggles. These communications should be calm in nature, and you should do as much listening as talking.

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